Onion: Fisher-Price releases Fetal Activity Gym

Fisher-Price has released a new “in utero fetal activity gym,” reports The Onion.

“Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum, adding that the eight different preloaded songs will help fetuses grow the thalamic brain connections needed to process sound.

It’s satire. But just barely.

#educationaltoys #FisherPrice #hyperparenting