Don't blame parents for things they can't control
- Joanne Jacobs
- Apr 3
- 2 min read
Don't blame parents for things they can't control, writes Deb Fillman, a parent who left teaching to become a homeschooling consultant.
Parents need to feed their children a healthy diet, she writes. They can restrict after-school activities so their children have down time -- but not screen time. And, of course, parents can get their children to school, rested and ready to learn.
But learn what?
Teaching reading is the top priority, Fillman writes. If teachers are the only ones "qualified" to teach reading, then "DO. THE. JOB." And that doesn't mean teaching children to look at picture in graphic novels.
Teach grammar, starting in third grade. "If it’s not, and if students are not reading challenging works of fiction (which always use more sophisticated grammar and vocabulary than nonfiction), they will not just pick it up'” intuitively," she writes.
Students need lessons on style and structure to master writing, Fillman writes. "There are high school students who think a paragraph is just a chunk of text that 'looks big enough' to be a paragraph. They arbitrarily indent a line where they think it 'looks' right because they have no idea what a paragraph is supposed to do."
Teach students to add and multiply, without a calculator, she writes. Without fluency in the basics, they'll never get very far in math.
Schools need to provide a safe, orderly learning environment by "removing abusive, disruptive, emotionally volatile, and violent students" from mainstream classrooms, Fillman writes. Get the bullies out.
I do think parents are responsible for teaching manners to their children before sending them off to school.
Bad behaviors begin at home, says an elementary teacher known as @thesaucymillennial on TikTok, writes Bre Avery Zacharski on ChipChick. Many parents defend their out-of-control children instead of disciplining them, the teacher complains.
School administrators don't hold students responsible, Saucy Millennial adds. “If we had clearer and better consequences that would deter bad behavior, I might feel better about my job,” she said in her video. Sometimes, students sent to the office are sent back to class with snacks, rewarding their bad behavior.
“Teach students to add and multiply, without a calculator, she writes. Without fluency in the basics, they'll never get very far in math.”
A few years ago I asked my honors algebra 1 students to subtract fractions (unlike denominators) without using a calculator. One third of them simply subtracted the numerators and denominators. Another third made other mistakes. Only one third k ew how to do it. Anecdotal? Of course. But it’s the same in all of our honors math classes.
This reminded me of the very good takedown of a novelist who proposed that that grammar didn't need to be taught. I never found the original article, but even this excerpt is an excellent scolding.