Words will never hurt you -- unless you're incredibly fragile

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me," typically said in a sneering, sing-song tone of voice, was a staple of my childhood.

"It's a free country" became a family joke when my brother was eight. "It's a free country," we elders would say, "except for eight-year-old boys."

That was a long time ago, write Greg Lukianoff and Angel Eduardo on The Eternally Radical Idea. Nowadays, people are more likely to hear "words are violence" than "you have a right to your opinion."

The FIRE/NORC 2025 Idioms Survey, found most people are familiar with the free speech expressions of yore, such as "everyone's entitled to their own opinion," and pluralism expressions, such as "different strokes for different folks" or "to each their own." (It used to be "to each his own.") They've at least heard about walking a mile in someone else's shoes. But not very often.

Democratic societies replaced the "honor culture" -- if insulted, you need to fight -- with the "dignity culture," which draws a bright line between words and violence, Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt wrote in The Coddling of the American Mind. As Sigmund Freud allegedly said, "The man who first flung a world of abuse at his enemy instead of a spear was the founder of civilization.”

Those norms are being replaced by "victimhood culture," write Lukianoff and Eduardo. In the FIRE/NORC survey, half the participants said "words can be violence" described their thoughts "somewhat," "mostly" or "completely." Only 36% of participants said “not at all.”

And 32% of college students in FIRE’s 2025 College Free Speech Rankings believe using violence to stop disfavored speech is at least “rarely” acceptable.

"If you believe words are violence, you are cultivating a culture of intellectual and emotional fragility, which will inevitably lead to a whole host of mental health consequences," write Lukianoff and Eduardo. "Censorship becomes a matter of personal safety."

Those who claim to be the most sensitive, the most "marginalized," the most intersectionally victimized, claim their violence is "resistance," while other people's opinions are "violence." Apparently, it's OK to kill people if they're well-to-do, white capitalists, especially if you're a good-looking young man.

Lukianoff and Eduardo call for espousing and exemplifying "the dignity culture values of resilience, free inquiry, and intellectual humility."

Years ago, on my way home from work as an op-ed columnist and editorial writer, I used to pass a car parked on the street with a bumper sticker that read: "I could be wrong." I liked that. Still do.