Myra Helms, a fourth-grade teacher at Meadowlark Elementary in Waverly, Nebraska was warned of the “unspeakable malevolence” to come by third-grade teacher Beverly Milfay, reports The Onion.
“Beware foremost the one who calls himself Trevor, he of the wavy brown hair and shark-tooth necklace,” said Milfay. “The others follow his lead, and if his mockery is loosed upon you, your doom will be sealed by the multitude.”
The third-grade teacher also exhorted against any interaction with “the one known as Bradley,” who if called upon to read aloud will grow nervous and “swiftly desecrate his garments with urine.”