Kids want to play in the real world, but parents think they're safer online

Children want to spend time with their friends, without screens or supervision, according to a recent Harris poll. But most aren't allowed to be in public without an adult -- unless they're online, write Lenore Skenazy, Zach Rausch and Jonathan Haidt in The Atlantic.  "Digital technology has given kids access to virtual worlds, where they’re allowed to roam far more freely than in the real one.

"Fewer than half of the 8- and 9-year-olds have gone down a grocery-store aisle alone; more than a quarter aren’t allowed to play unsupervised even in their own front yard," the survey showed. A majority of children ages 8 to 12 have smartphones, and about half of the 10-to-12-year-olds said that most or all of their friends use social media, they write. "About 75 percent of kids ages 9 to 12 regularly play the online game Roblox, where they can interact with friends and even strangers.

Asked about their favorite way to spend time with friends, children picked unsupervised, unstructured play over structured, supervised activities, such as Little League, or socializing online.

But parents are afraid to let their kids roam, they write. Asked what would happen if two 10-year-olds played in a local park without adults, 60 percent of parents thought it was likely they'd be injured and half thought it was likely they'd be abducted.

Which is crazy.

As a result, "kids have been strapped into the back seat of their lives — dropped off, picked up, and overhelped," write Skenazy, Rausch and Haidt. "As their independence has dwindled, their anxiety and depression have spiked," while intensive caregiving has made parenting more stressful.

"Go out and play" doesn't work if nobody else's kids are playing outside, of course. Nearly three-quarters of the children in our survey agreed with the statement “I would spend less time online if there were more friends in my neighborhood to play with in person.”

Churches, libraries, schools and networks of parents are creating screen-free “play clubs," they write. "The Boy Scouts—now rebranded as Scouting America, and open to all young people—is finally growing again."

Skenazy and Haidt started Let Grow to encourage parents to let kids play unsupervised, learning how to handle conflicts or boredom. One program gives children a monthly homework assignment: Do something new on your own, with your parents’ permission but without their help. Go to the store on your own. Cook a meal. Do the laundry.

"If parents want their kids to put down their phones, they need to open the front door, conclude Skenazy, Rausch and Haidt. "Today’s kids want to spend their childhood in the real world. Let’s give it back to them."