‘Harry Potter’ author regrets RonMione

Pairing up Harry Potter’s friends, Ron and Hermione, may have been a mistake, concedes author J.K. Rowling. Hermione would have done better with Harry, she thinks now.

In an interview several years ago, Rowling said that she “seriously considered” killing Ron.

It “seemed implausible that the highly intellectual and perfectionistic Hermione would fall for the utterly unintellectual (though not unintelligent) and seriously immature Ron,” writes Volokh’s Ilya Somin. If Hermione didn’t think Harry was right for her, she could have “waited to find a spouse until after high school!”

Ron Weasley sucks, writes economist Eric Crampton. He imagines a Harry Potter trained in science and rationality before enrolling at Hogwarts.

After Ron explains quidditch, Harry asks why catching the Snitch is worth 150 points, when one side usually scores 15 to 20 10-point goals before the Snitch is caught to end the game.

“That’s just wrong. That violates every possible rule of game design. Look, the rest of this game sounds like it might make sense, sort of, for a sport I mean, but you’re basically saying that catching the Snitch overwhelms almost any ordinary point spread. The two Seekers are up there flying around looking for the Snitch and usually not interacting with anyone else, spotting the Snitch first is going to be mostly luck -”

“It’s not luck!” protested Ron. “You’ve got to keep your eyes moving in the right pattern -”

“That’s not interactive, there’s no back-and-forth with the other player and how much fun is it to watch someone incredibly good at moving their eyes? And then whichever Seeker gets lucky swoops in and grabs the Snitch and makes everyone else’s work moot. It’s like someone took a real game and grafted on this pointless extra position so that you could be the Most Important Player without needing to really get involved or learn the rest of it. Who was the first Seeker, the King’s idiot son who wanted to play Quidditch but couldn’t understand the rules?” Actually, now that Harry thought about it, that seemed like a surprisingly good hypothesis. Put him on a broomstick and tell him to catch the shiny thing…

Harry suggests improving quidditch by getting rid of the Snitch.

“But, but if you get rid of the Snitch, how will anyone know when the game ends?” Ron asks.

“Buy a clock,” Harry replies.

Old books in sexy, new covers

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Sexy book covers are luring Twilight teens to the classics, according to ABC News. Romeo “sports a white tank top and a three-day stubble” on the new Penguin edition of Shakespeare’s tragedy.

Publishers hope teens who bought the Hunger Games trilogy, the Twilight series and Harry Potter will give the classics a try, if they’re repackaged as teen romances.

Harper Teen’s new edition of  Wuthering Heights, which sports a red rose on the cover, features a Twilight endorsement. It’s “Bella & Edward’s favorite book.”

Via Instapundit.