Principal explains lost tooth to Tooth Fairy

When a little girl lost her tooth on the playground and couldn’t find it, her principal wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy explaining the mishap.

When my daughter was five, she wrote a courteous letter to the Tooth Fairy to point out that 10 cents per tooth was a lot less than her friends were getting. The embarrassed TF raised the reward to $1.

tooth fairy letter

Choosing death at 15

At a suburban Virginia high school six students have committed suicide in the last three years, reports the Washington Post.

“There is too much stress in my life from school and the environment it creates, expectations for sports, expectations from my friends and expectations from my family,” wrote Jack Chen, 15. He’d earned a 4.3 grade point average, captained the junior varsity football team and competed in crew and track. He stepped in front of a train.

The six boys who killed themselves were good students and athletes with supportive parents, according to the Post. They did not appear to be “troubled.”

Drugged ‘for being boys’

Most boys on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder meds are “being drugged for no good reason—simply for being boys,” charges Ryan D’Agostino in Esquire.

By the time they reach high school, nearly 20 percent of all American boys will be diagnosed with ADHD. Millions of those boys will be prescribed a powerful stimulant to “normalize” them. A great many of those boys will suffer serious side effects from those drugs. The shocking truth is that many of those diagnoses are wrong . . .

“We are pathologizing boyhood,” says Ned Hallowell, a psychiatrist who has been diagnosed with ADHD himself. The co-author of two books on ADHD,  Driven to Distraction and Delivered from Distraction, Hallowell “there’s been a general girlification of elementary school, where any kind of disruptive behavior is sinful.”

Most boys are naturally more restless than most girls, and I would say that’s good. But schools want these little goody-goodies who sit still and do what they’re told—these robots—and that’s just not who boys are.”

Boys aren’t given time to outgrow immature behavior, writes D’Agostino. A huge Canadian study found that “boys who were born in December”—typically the youngest students in their class—”were 30 percent more likely to receive a diagnosis of ADHD than boys born in January,” who were nearly a full year older. And “boys were 41 percent more likely to be given a prescription for a medication to treat ADHD if they were born in December than if they were born in January.” 

“Sluggish cognitive tempo” — day dreaming — is the latest candidate for diagnosis and medication, reports the New York Times.

“We’re seeing a fad in evolution: Just as A.D.H.D. has been the diagnosis du jour for 15 years or so, this is the beginning of another,” said Dr. Allen Frances, an emeritus professor of psychiatry at Duke University. “This is a public health experiment on millions of kids.”

A few of my favorite things

In Toy Stories: Photos of Children from Around the World and Their Favorite Things, Gabriele Galimberti shows what boys and girls in 58 countries consider their most prized possessions.

When a box of sunglasses fell off a truck in a poor Zambian village, the “plastic eyewear immediately become their favorite — their only — toys,” reports Brain Pickings. They play “market,” “buying” and “selling” the prized toys to each other.

Maudy, 3 (Kalulushi, Zambia)


Pavel, 5 (Kiev, Ukraine)

The overprotected child

The author’s 5-year-old son, Gideon, playing at the Land playground in North Wales. (Hanna Rosin)

Overprotective, safety-obsessed parents have “stripped childhood of independence, risk taking, and discovery—without making it safer,” writes Hanna Rosin in The Atlantic.

The “adventure playground,” which gives kids a chance to explore and challenge themselves, is growing in popularity in Europe, she writes. She visited The Land, a Welsh playground.

“Playworkers” keep an eye on children, but try not to intervene. Parents usually don’t come.

It’s still morning, but someone has already started a fire in the tin drum in the corner, perhaps because it’s late fall and wet-cold, or more likely because the kids here love to start fires. . . . Nearby, a couple of boys are doing mad flips on a stack of filthy mattresses, which makes a fine trampoline. At the other end of the playground, a dozen or so of the younger kids dart in and out of large structures made up of wooden pallets stacked on top of one another. Occasionally a group knocks down a few pallets—just for the fun of it, or to build some new kind of slide or fort or unnamed structure.

. . . there are . . .  no shiny metal slide topped by a red steering wheel or a tic-tac-toe board; no yellow seesaw with a central ballast to make sure no one falls off; no rubber bucket swing for babies. There is, however, a frayed rope swing that carries you over the creek and deposits you on the other side, if you can make it that far (otherwise it deposits you in the creek). . . . the kids seem excited by a walker that was donated by one of the elderly neighbors and is repurposed, at different moments, as a scooter, a jail cell, and a gymnastics bar.

A generation ago, mothers were more likely to be at home, but less likely to arrange playdates or drive the kids to swim lessons, Rosin writes. Children had free, unsupervised time. They figured out what to do with it.

On weekdays after school (her mother) just expected me to show up for dinner; on weekends I barely saw her at all. I, on the other hand, might easily spend every waking Saturday hour with one if not all three of my children, taking one to a soccer game, the second to a theater program, the third to a friend’s house, or just hanging out with them at home. When my daughter was about 10, my husband suddenly realized that in her whole life, she had probably not spent more than 10 minutes unsupervised by an adult. Not 10 minutes in 10 years.

It’s not just a U.S. phenomenon. In 1971, 80 percent of British third-graders walked to school alone, a study found. “By 1990, that measure had dropped to 9 percent, and now it’s even lower.” (When I started kindergarten in 1957, two generations ago, my mother let me walk with the other kids — no parents — from the first day.)

Children need to explore, argues Ellen Sandseter, a professor of early-childhood education in Norway.  “When they are left alone and can take full responsibility for their actions, and the consequences of their decisions, it’s a thrilling experience.”

Paradoxically, Sandseter writes, “our fear of children being harmed,” mostly in minor ways, “may result in more fearful children .”  Children who injured themselves falling from heights when they were between 5 and 9 years old are less likely to be afraid of heights at age 18, a study found.

Erin Davis has made a documentary about The Land.

Boys, bullies and My Little Pony

Nine-year-old Grayson Bruce, bullied for wearing a “girly” bag, will be back in school with his My Little Pony backpack. Buncombe County Schools (North Carolina) administrators had banned the backpack because it “triggered bullying.”

His mother, Noreen Bruce had pulled her son out of school.

Seven-year-old Barnaby loves Rainbow Dash, a My Little Pony character, but he won’t wear his Rainbow Dash sweatshirt to school writes his father, Sean Williams, on Slate. He said, “I think it will make the other kids uncomfortable.”

It’s OK for girls to show masculine traits — “strong is the new skinny” — but “men and boys are mostly shamed for expressing anything outside of the macho ideal,” writes Williams. Barnaby

My Little Pony’s mythology is based on the six Elements of Harmony: “Kindness, generosity, honesty, laughter, loyalty, and magic” are the tools the heroine ponies use to solve problems, Williams writes. “What you don’t find is ambition, or aggression, or force of will.”

Barnaby wears his Rainbow Dash sweatshirt at home, writes Williams. “I’m sad that at 7, he already knows what wearing it” at school would mean.

Adult men who like My Little Pony are known as “bronies,” I’ve learned. There’s a documentary on the phenomenon.

Another brick in the book


Life Is an Open Book is the title of this brick sculpture by Brad Spencer of Reidsville, North Carolina.

Take a second look

What’s Wrong with These Photos?! from the Ellen DeGeneres Photo Gallery.

Caption-this

Kohn: Parents are too controlling

Millenials aren’t confident, coddled and narcissistic, writes Alfie Kohn in The Myth of the Spoiled Child.  Parents aren’t too indulgent, he argues. They’re too controlling.

Otherwise liberal parents are adopting socially conservative practices, Kohn believes. “It’s widely assumed that parents are both permissive and overprotective, unable to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail,” he writes. “We’re told that young people receive trophies, praise, and A’s too easily, and suffer from inflated self-esteem and insufficient self-discipline.” Not so, he argues. “Complaints about pushover parents and entitled kids” are nothing new.

It’s possible to be overprotective and controlling.

Officials close 11-year-old’s cupcake business

An 11-year-old Illinois girl who started a cake and cupcake business was shut down by county health officials, when they read about her in the local newspaper.

Local Government Forces 11 Year Old Cupcake Entrepreneur to Shut Down BusinessChloe Stirling, a sixth grader, began selling — and sometimes donating — baked goods two years ago. She called her business “Hey, Cupcake!” But she doesn’t have a permit or a commercial kitchen.

“Cottage” food producers were legalized last year in California, reports the Bay Area News Group. Food prepared in home kitchens can be sold, though “local controls have created a crazy quilt of rules and fees, resulting in rules that work for some but erect hurdles for others.”

About 1,000 new microbusinesses have been created. In San Jose, Rula Sai mixes imported black tea, dried apricots and sunflower petals to create an aromatic Armenian Plum Tea. She can sell at the monthly Bay Area Homemade Market in Berkeley, but can’t sell online or at farmers markets in San Jose. “She hosts tea parties, but the city only allows two in-home clients at a time.”