You want that sweet Ivy League vibe to reverberate through your essays but don’t have the chops to write them that way? Let Unemployed Professor write all of those tedious essays, take-home exams, and anything else that one of your dreadful professors throws at you. With low rates, unparalleled customer service, and insane expertise, you can buy research papers and college term papers from your own Unemployed Professor.
Unlike most of our competitors, all of our writers hold advanced graduate degrees from respected universities. If they don’t, we simply don’t hire them. So what are you getting when you hire us to do your work? The person who will be writing for you will have approximately the same qualifications as the person who designed the assignment! What does that mean? Our people know the proverbial tricks of the trade whereby your professors trap you, make you lose points on ridiculous technicalities, and thereby prevent you from partying (or living quietly) as you would so desire.
I suppose this is what they mean when they talk about chickens coming home to roost. I suppose that universities sort of had this coming, what with the rampant overproduction of PhD’s.
Maybe this has been around a long time — Slate seems to have discussed it back in February — but I just found out about it, so the horror is still fresh.