The National Association of Scholars has announced the winners of its Trigger Warning Contest:
Lolita: Disturbing novel. Narrator DOES NOT RECYCLE. –Earl V. Bobb
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Warning: May Contain Nuts — Greg Britton
Green Eggs and Ham: Glorifies GMOs — Jim Eltringham
Among the honorable mentions, my favorites are:
Goldilocks: Warning: bears! — Adam Kissel
The Road by Cormac McCarthy: Warning, portrays a low carb, high protein diet of free range, non-factory farmed meat in a negative light — Aaron Sheer
The NAS staff came up with some of its own:
Don Quixote: scenes of graphic violence against alternative energy sources.
Beowulf: depictions of violence against endangered species.
In a satiric memo, Rob Zaretsky, a French history professor at the University of Houston, warns that the Book of Job can be a real downer.
“Are you sure this is part of the Bible?” asked many respondents, who also exhibited intense unease with God’s actions, as they did with Job’s questions.
. . . While the groups’ expectations were raised when a voice came from the whirlwind, they were deflated by the voice’s answers — which, according to one respondent, weren’t answers at all. (“Like my parents, only worse.”) At the end of the session, a palpable sense of dread, along with isolated cases of fear and trembling, were in evidence — all matters of concern for our office.
The Iliad not only has no empowered women, but the dog Argo is left to die on a dung heap!