School: It’s OK to tell on bullies

Bullying rules sent home with Zeman fifth-grade students

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  1. There comes a point where apologies no longer matter and a parent (as well as community taxpayer) question why individuals of such poor judgement remain in charge of the children.

    Okay, so “it was not approved for distribution,” but, someone was paid to write this? Someone was in a position to waste school resources to create copies. Why would any competent “educator” think these “rules” were appropriate?

    • Stacy in NJ says:

      Because they’re Amish?

      This is a sincerely passive way of dealing with bullies, a non-violent strategy.

      In my school, in my day, it would’ve gotten you an ugly beat down, though. There’s a reason why the Amish isolate themselves from “English” society.

    • Jerry Doctor says:

      Paid to write it? Possible but I doubt it. Living in Nebraska I am quite familiar with this story. Turns out this is from a commercially available program by Izzy Kalman called Bullies2Buddies. (Izzy?? I’m guessing he had a lot of experience with bullies when he was in school.) You can get the whole program yourself for the bargain price of $495. (

      It’s possible that someone (teacher? school? district?) paid that but I doubt it. Hey! We’re teachers – plagiarism is our God-given right! (Oops. Public school. Can’t say “God-given.” Anyway, our right.)

      So far, HOW they got it hasn’t come out. So, these teachers not only distributed unauthorized materials that instructed students not to tell their parents what was happening in school, but there is a chance they also violated copyright laws. I wonder what massive punishment they will receive?

      Last point. When the school district spokesman was interviewed he was really upset about this. He repeatedly stated this flyer should not have been sent home to parents. Really? The worst part about this is that parents found out??

  2. Michael E. Lopez says:

    No, no. This won’t do at all. This clearly needs some work.

    #1: Don’t get mad. Get even.

    #2: It is the rule in war, if our forces are ten to the enemy’s one, to surround him; if five to one, to attack him; if twice as numerous, to divide our army into two. If equally matched, we can offer battle; if slightly inferior in numbers, we can avoid the enemy; if quite unequal in every way, we can flee from him.

    #3: Do not take counsel of your fears.

    #4: The best defense is a good offense.

    #5: Never start a fight, but always finish it.

    #6: If he sends on of your guys to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.

    #7: Snitches get stitches.

    #8: (This one’s actually pretty good — keep it.)

    #9: Endure nothing from anyone but the king, the cardinal, and Monsieur de Treville.

  3. “..Don’t fight back”
    From personal experience some 50yrs ago, I found the opposite advice solved my problem quite nicely.

    • Mark Roulo says:

      I’d love to meet someone who was able to “solve” a bullying problem by getting pounded, not talking back and not telling anyone. I’m sure there are examples, but all of my experiences (and my child’s) are that bullies stop when you hit back. You don’t have to “win”, just make it not fun for the bully. Because “bullies don’t want to fight, bullies want to beat people up.”

      • Michael E. Lopez says:

        As with all things, there are exceptions.

        Some bullies want to fight. You can even win, and they’ll come back for more. (With friends, usually.)

        One might question whether this makes them not quite *bullies*, though, and in fact some other breed of malcontent.

  4. When I was a kid, we had a pejorative word we used on boys who behaved like this. I won’t repeat it here, but in other circumstances it’s a synonym for “cat”.

    In my experience, bullies LOVE those who don’t fight back. They’ll pick on them again and again, because it’s risk free and easy. Easy, that is, until the bullied kid gets fed up and returns with a gun or some other weapon. Then it becomes the bullied kids’ fault, along with his parents and friends (but not the school administrator who was the real culprit).

  5. Usually kicking the crap out of the bully usually solved the problem in my days in school, and if you fought off campus, there was anything the school could do about it (and the cops usually didn’t care back then).

    That being said, violence should always be a last resort to solving a problem with a bully, and one thing kids should remember is that after you leave high school, the number of persons you keep really good friendships with usually drops down to less than 20 (and usually less than 10) people (speaking from experience).

    Of course, a good pair of nunchucks (and knowing how to use ’em) will stop most bullies dead in their tracks 🙂