Grad: My parents can’t pay my debt

Man Doesn’t Know How Parents Ever Going To Pay Off Massive Student Loan Debt, reports The Onion. The parents of Wesleyan graduate Zach Wallace owe $40,000 for his film studies degree, the 23-year-old unpaid intern told reporters. “My God, they’ll be lucky if they’re able to pay this off while they’re still in their 70s,” said Wallace.

“The student loan system takes advantage of a lot of parents who simply don’t realize what they’re getting into. Then four years later it’s like, ‘Welcome to the real world, Mom and Dad!’” Citing the present trend of tuition hikes and stagnant wages, Wallace added that his parents might well be forced into bankruptcy by the time he has completed a decent Ph.D. program.

Meanwhile, they’re struggling to make minimum monthly payments and pay his rent.


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  1. you realize this is from The Onion right???

  2. If this student or his parents would have googled ‘is student loan debt dischargable” they would have gotten a quick answer.

    NO, it’s not.

    Also, if he had done his first two years at a local community or junior college and then transferred, the cost would have been a lot less.


  3. Crimson Wife says:

    You can’t save people from their own stupidity. Taking out $40k in loans for a child’s film studies degree is stupid.

    I might be willing to take out a reasonable amount of loans if I needed to in order to help my child earn a marketable degree such as nursing, ultrasound technician, surgical technician, dental hygienist, etc. Something that I could be reasonably sure my child would be able to find a decent-paying job at the end. But before I did that, I’d try to help the child figure out a way to pay for the college/training without my needing to take on debt for it.

    • Crimson Wife says:

      Fooled by another “Onion” satire, d’oh! It’s so similar to real “sob stories” that I have read sadly enough…

  4. Michael E. Lopez says:

    The Onion is well-aware that the best humor has a healthy dollop of truth to it.

  5. Michael E. Lopez says:

    Though I am offended that they used an obviously non-Wesleyan graduation photo.

    We wear red robes at graduation.