7-year-old suspended for pastry pistol

At a Maryland elementary school, a 7-year-old boy was suspended for two days for nibbling a pastry into the shape of a gun at snack time. Joshua claims he was trying to make a mountain. The teacher disagreed.

No one was threatened or harmed by the pastry, the boy’s father said. I guess that means he didn’t point his Pop-Tart and say “bang.”

A Google image search for “poptart gun” turned up this image, reports Reason‘s Hit & Run. Apparently, Joshua isn’t the only boy with a taste for weaponry. Or mountains.


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  1. If the kid really shaped it into a gun, he needs to be taught why that makes adults nervous. If he’s got some sort of an issue related to violence (which I seriously doubt), then he needs help rather than a punishment.

    It makes no sense to remove a child for two days of education for this. Shaping things into weapons is pretty standard for his age group. Discussion is what’s required, not punishment. The only things he’s going to learn is not to share his creativity or to try anything new when an adult might see him.

    • Richard Aubrey says:

      PW. Do you want to teach a seven-year-old that a substantial number of adults are nucking futz and disproportionately attracted to education? It would be a good idea a couple of years from now, I suppose. For the present, fire the teacher and admin.
      Meantime, down in Florida, three guys who took down a gunman getting ready to shoot another student are suspended for being involved in an “incident”.
      As various people say, putting your kids in pub ed is looking increasingly like parental neglect, doubled if the kid’s a boy.

    • If the kid really shaped it into a gun, he needs to be taught why that makes adults nervous.

      If he said it was a mountain, the “adult” involved first needs to learn how to be one.

  2. Stacy in NJ says:

    I’d like to use that tart to pistol whip the teacher.

  3. Why WOULD a pastry shaped like a gun make adults nervous?? Because they’re on a low carb diet, and are afraid of losing their resolve? Because it might make a mess? Because it may have been processed in a facility which also processes tree nuts and peanuts?

    It’s a pastry. An adult who feels ‘nervous’ at the sight of a gun-shaped pastry does not need validation, she needs cognitive therapy.

    • Richard Aubrey says:

      I try not to go there, emotionally or intellectually. But if I had to guess, the moron in question was not “nervous” in the normal sense. He or she had been taught to feel something or other when guns, pictures of guns, nibbled pastries, look like guns. Or can be claimed to look like guns. It’s what they’re supposed to do. So they do it. It’s just that they don’t know how stupid it is and how stupid they look. In fact, being called stupid by bitter clingers is probably promoted as validation.

  4. He was probably suspended for lying, not for nibbling incorrectly.

    • That certainly would be an effective way to reduce class size.

      • Richard Aubrey says:

        Maybe he could plead not guilty on account of missing a tooth. He’s at that age, you know. Might have been trying to do porn or something.

        • Richard Aubrey says:

          I looked at the picture again and I can see the school’s point.
          It’s a B2 bomber.

          • In my school days, I would have reacted by trying to organize ‘chew your food into a weapon’ day. I mean, they can’t suspend the whole school, can they? And if they do, score! No more second grade for a while!

  5. I wonder if teachers are using zero tolerance to harass and bully students they dislike…..

    It seems more likely than the alternative- that they’re too dumb to see that a pastry does not represent a threat.

    Then, after the fact, they can hide behind zero tolerance to justify their abuse of a particular student.

    • Richard Aubrey says:

      Counseling is being offered the traumatized students. As has been said, parody and satire are becoming increasingly difficult.

      • But remember, it’s HOMESCHOOLERS who are in danger of raising anxious, poorly socialized, weird children. Schools are the only way to be sure that your kids turn out to be well-adjusted. Just keep repeating the mantra until you believe it….