Jon Stewart: Eat your *#!*#! lunch!

Jon Stewart on school lunch protests: “News flash! Extry extry! School lunches suck!” And students are still hungry after they eat it. “So you hate the food and you want more of it.” (That’s an old Borscht Belt joke.)

Under the new rules, designed to fight childhood obesity, students can get seconds of fruits and vegetables, but they won’t even eat the first (mandatory) helping. Cafeteria garbage cans are twice as full. “Hmm, now I am obviously not an nutritionist or an educator,” Stewart says, “but I think if these kids are hungry, I guess my solution would be…eat your motherf**kin lunch!”

About Joanne


  1. America needs a multi-pronged approach to fix its food culture. Making school lunches healthier is a start, but on its own it WILL result in a doubling of food waste. How can we get more kids to eat their fruit and veggies? One: institute a nutrition curriculum in K-8. Two: crank up the government good food propaganda machine to educate parents, many of whom simply don’t know much about nutrition. Three: invest more to raise the quality of school meals. In France, French women cook ratatouille and other tasty nutritious lunches from scratch. Our kitchen staff takes pink-slime burgers in baggies out of the freezer and heats them up.

    I’m happy to see the Iron Chef-type shows on cable starting to change my colleagues’ views on food. I see fewer microwave meals in the staff room; more homecooked dishes that involved the actual chopping of vegetables.

    • Nutrition curriculum? Not no, he** no! You want to penalize kids who already eat healthy, home-cooked, from-scratch meals and know how to cook? Kids like mine, for instance, You apparently don’t realize that the one-size-fits-all approach characteristic of public schools is one of its least attractive features. Just because something is a good idea doesn’t mean that the schools should do it. PE, for instance. In what common-sense universe should kids who are playing on FIVE elite soccer teams or who are elite swimmers training five hours a day be required to take PE? In theory, there was an exemption mechanism, but even district employees couldn’t get one; exempt all the elite athletes and fewer teacher are needed; one admin even admitted as much.

      I have another idea. Remove ALL non-academic components from the school and let parks and rec or private organizations run them.Shut the school lunch program and tell parents they are responsible for feeding their kids. Schools aren’t doing so well on academics that they need another distraction from the issue.

    • My sons’ private school has a nutrition unit in health class. It works very well. The boys record what they eat in a typical week. They bring in food labels. They learn how to read a food label. They analyze fast food meals, comparing the nutrition content and calorie count to a typical home-cooked meal.

      It makes an enormous difference in the choices the students make over time.

      Two: crank up the government good food propaganda machine to educate parents, many of whom simply don’t know much about nutrition.

      The government food propaganda machine is already hard at work. No change yet.

      On a common-sense level, at what level should one set the calorie count for school lunches served to all children? For the most active 5%, or the much more sedentary average student? If I had the choice, I would set the level to match the student body’s overall level of activity.

      • lightly seasoned says:

        My public school has the same type of unit, cranberry.

        I really don’t know how true this is in other places, but the school districts around here all contract out cafeteria services. We have Chartwell’s. When a for-profit corporation runs the cafeterias, it sells what the kids will buy; that results in a lot of poor choices. Up until recently, it was fairly common for kids to buy Papa John’s pizza every day for lunch, especially kids on free and reduced lunch. I’d have given in to that temptation, too. Now we have a parent group leaning on Chartwell’s to change the options, so I’m seeing kids eating a little better. As for students who are “elite athletes” — they bring their own. My kid isn’t an elite athlete by any stretch, but during the running season she is more careful about what she packs for lunch, especially on race days.

        Also, our upper classmen are permitted to go off campus for lunch. They keep the local McDonald’s very profitable. Many do, of course, go home for lunch.

      • Stacy in NJ says:

        “Two: crank up the government good food propaganda machine to educate parents, many of whom simply don’t know much about nutrition.”

        Here’s the problem: The government food propaganda machine is WRONG and has been providing scientifically sh*t advice for 40 years.

        So, yeah, no. Government can’t be trusted to “educate” parents or students.

  2. lightly seasoned says:

    Isn’t that a toddler trick? Protest until you give in and give them what they want? LOL. Let me quote my mother, “If you don’t want what I cooked, starve.”