By the end of her daughter’s first=grade year with Everyday Math, Crystal Intini Alperin was unable to help with homework, she writes on Parenting Without A Parachute.

Everyday Math introduces and teaches mathematical topics as a part of a spiraling curriculum. Topics are introduced, and students are given homework, called Home Links, using real-life practical applications. Mastery is not required because all topics will continually reappear throughout the years and will be presented in many different ways with increasing levels of complexity.

In second grade, daughter Cassie “came to me and slapped down the Home Link from Hell,” Home Link 5-6.

Cassie had completed a household scavenger hunt to find examples of three-dimensional objects. She had found examples for prisms, pyramids, cylinders and spheres.

However after searching our house, she still couldn’t find an example of a cone.

Finally, Mom could help! She suggested the top of a martini glass. Problem solved!

Or not. The homework came back marked in red: “Not appropriate for school.”

Cassie never asked her mother for homework help again.

Seriously?! I don’t like drinking and personally would never have that in my home. That being said though- it IS A CONE. Neither of them is doing something wrong. The child isn’t consuming alcohol.

It could have been worse. The kid might have asked Dad, and Dad might have said, “What about a tip cross-section of this here armor piercing 7.62mm NATO standard round?”

I believe the appropriate internet acronym is ROFLMFAO, give or take a few ‘F’s.

I derive great amusement from the types who, upon seeing anything which must be treated with respect and care, immediately panic.

They didn’t have any funnels at home?

And what if they didn’t? A major crime?

Love it! I guess I won’t tell the story about the third grader learning about origami who rolled a spliff because “oh, mom has a bunch of these under her bed.” Hee hee.

I’ve heard rumors it’s possible to fill martini glasses with other fluids.

They had no ice cream cones? Okay–that is a bit of a stretch.

As the song goes, “It’s so simple, so very simple, that only a child can do it!”

I bet (no pun intended) the continual use of playing cards in Everyday Math is alright with this teacher!