Organized Chaos has teacher talents that don’t go on a resume:
- Can identify lice on a child’s head with impeccable accuracy, both the eggs and the bugs themselves.
- Can go for 8 hours without using the bathroom
- Have Knuffle Bunny, Noisy Nora, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and The Recess Queen memorized.
- Able to make a parent feel like their child is the most important child in the world.
- Able to make any child feel like what they are telling me is the most important thing I have ever heard in my whole life, even when they are just telling me that they went to Chuck-E-Cheese (again) over the weekend.
- Able to sports-cast an all-classroom clean up as though it is an Olympic event.
Kiri at Elbows, Knees Dreams carries on the meme:
- can instantly tell when a child returning from the bathroom didn’t wash his/her hands
- can give animated, detailed lessons on how to put a cap on a marker, how to clean up the floor with masking tape, how to pee in the potty instead of on the floor, how to wipe, how to wash hands, how to blow your nose, how it’s not okay to pick your nose, how germs are spread, how to put on your jacket (the Preschool Flip!), how to put your napkin in your lap, and many more
Miss Brave‘s “astonishing feats of superteachery” include:
* I can distinguish between a child doing the “pee dance” who actually has to use the bathroom and a child doing the “pee dance” who’s just trying to convince me he has to go to the bathroom.
* When a child slams his book/folder shut and triumphantly exults, “I’m done!”, I can tell whether or not he is, in fact, actually done.
* I can, on the spot, come up with about 30 more things for children who are “done” to do.
* Out of the 28 children on line behind me, I can tell which one is squeaking his hand on the banister, which one just jumped down the last two steps and which one is surreptitiously whispering to the girl in front of her.
These are edited lists.
BTW, I think a thorough explanation of the prevalence of head lice and methods of eradication should be added to all sex education courses in middle and high school.