Pastafarians seek equal time

Darwinian evolution? Intelligent design? In a letter to a Kansas school board,  Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster devotees demand that Pastafarian beliefs be taught in public schools along with other theories of creation.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

Pastafarians also want teachers to wear the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s chosen outfit, pirate regalia. (“He becomes angry if we don’t.”)

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

The Church of the FSM is “today’s fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion,” claims founder Bobby Henderson. And no wonder.  The Pastafarian heaven features strippers and a beer volcano. My husband, a devour Frequent Flyertarian is considering conversion.

Wikipedia has more.

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  1. What’s all this about shrinking pirates?

  2. In order to accept this as an argument, however, one needs to accept the premise that 5000+ years of history, tradition, and wisdom has no more validity than some crap somebody made up on the fly. It is this same assumption which is required in order to consider scientology or wicca to be serious religions. The very idea that something should be taken seriously because some people feel strongly about it is fairly asinine.

    As a joke, however, the FSM is still pretty darn funny.

  3. If the 5000+ year-old creation myth has no more factual support (aka validity) than some crap somebody made up on the fly, it has no business being held up as an “alternative” explanation in science classes as its proponents desire.

  4. It seems to me a bit more likely that God is a Flying Spaghetti Monster than a tripartite being one chunk of which was flung to Earth to be nailed on a cross.

  5. No argument there, but that’s a separate issue. My point is that FSM is pure snark, not rational argument. There are far too many nowadays who are incapable of telling the difference.

  6. The arguments being made for teaching “intelligent design” (or “evidence against evolution”, of which there is none†) are not rational either.  The FSM is a way of showing just what will come in the door if it must be opened to religious myths in science class.  It takes the horror of someone else’s ridiculous theology sharing equal time with their own to make the religious apologists see what a can of worms they would open; rational argumentation just makes them yawn.

    † A rabbit fossil in a Cambrian stratum would be valid evidence against evolution.  The various groups making anti-evolution textbooks and such, like the Dishonesty, er, Discovery Institute, don’t do any field work so they will not find any.  (You would think this would be their highest priority, wouldn’t you?)

  7. I really don’t get the mean-spiritedness of so many atheists today. Everyone is entitled to his/her own POV on religion- if you choose to believe that Christianity is bunk, go right ahead. Certainly there are religions I personally feel are complete and utter nonsense. But I don’t think it’s okay to mock others for their religious beliefs.

    Didn’t their mamas ever teach them that if they can’t say something nice, then they shouldn’t say anything at all?

  8. Crimson Wife,

    The Pastafarians’ point is not to make fun of religion but rather to hold up to well deserved ridicule the idea of teaching Intelligent Design or Creationism in our country’s public schools’ science classes. It may sound a bit mean, but satire often does.

  9. Engineer-Poet and Ben F:

    Today is Thanksgiving. Assuming you’re thankful for something, to whom do you give thanks? Everything exists by chance, not design, and since there is no Designer, to whom do you give thanks? Assuming, that is, you’re thankful. And I don’t mean thankful to humans, such as yourself, parents, teachers, Darwin, etc. but thankful to something other than human for bringing you into existence. Assuming, that is, you’re thankful.

  10. BadaBing,

    Now that is being mean spirited. Implying repeatedly that just because somebody does not share your religious views that they are not “thankful.” Why is it so incomprehensible to you that, on this day of giving thanks, that many people think about their family and friends rather than spend it in religious reflection? Are your blinders really on that tight, BadaBing?

  11. I am thankful to the people, living and dead, whose genius and hard work has brought us all the things I am enjoying today.  This includes clean water, central heat, modern medicine and the Internet.

    Religious apologists claiming credit for the likes of Maxwell, Salk, Einstein and Shockley just disgusts me.

  12. Devilbunny says:

    To follow up on Engineer-Poet, I have to say: I live in the future. I’m 34 years old. If you went back to 1980 and told me that when I was as old as my mom I would have a computer in my pocket that could search the accumulated wisdom of humanity, make phone calls, and send messages to friends of mine who live on other continents; that I would have a car that would light itself up inside when I walked up to it and unlock itself automatically when I reached to open its door (as long as I have the key in my pocket); that I would be able to make phone calls anywhere in the country, for a flat monthly fee; that I would listen to music either with my pocket computer-phone or with a device about the size of three matchbooks, either one of which can play movies too; that I would be able to watch television shows whenever I wanted, either on the TV or on the computer, and that I could pause and rewind TV shows…

    I’d have said you were insane. But every bit of that is true.

  13. I really don’t get the mean-spiritedness of so many atheists today.

    Ever been told by someone that you’re going to burn in hell for all eternity for your lack of beliefs?

    Everyone is entitled to his/her own POV on religion-

    And part of that entitlement to our own POV is the right to think poorly of other people’s POVs.

    But I don’t think it’s okay to mock others for their religious beliefs.

    I’m okay with it, I like a witty bit of snark. Except when it’s directed at me and gets me in a tender spot. But ain’t that always the way? And if some snark or sarcasm hurts me, that’s generally a sign that my conscience is uncomfortable with the way I’m living my life somehow.

    Didn’t their mamas ever teach them that if they can’t say something nice, then they shouldn’t say anything at all?

    Not my mama. Given my family tree it would be awfully foolish to not say anything not nice – I have some difficult relatives that people should have clear warnings about.

    All this said, some atheists do strike me as mean-spirited, as do some members of any theist group.

  14. Tracy W- actually, I have been told any number of times that I’m not “saved” and will go to hell for supposedly not being a Christian (I *AM* a Christian, just a member of a different denomination). It would be extremely presumptuous of me to say that Christ won’t save non-Christians who lead otherwise good lives. I sincerely pray that He will have mercy on them.

    “And part of that entitlement to our own POV is the right to think poorly of other people’s POVs.”

    Agreed, but you shouldn’t be “in-your face” about it. I think poorly of a number of faiths, but I keep my mouth shut about it.

  15. Badabing: Given the vagaries of chance, I roll a 20-sided die. If the number that comes up is greater than zero, I drink.

    It’s not the greatest tradition, sure, but it’s mine.

  16. I guess I’m thankful that I’m better off than some other folks, but I wonder if they’re supposed to be thankful? There should be an annual pre-Thanksgiving search to find the most unfortunate individual in the country, so that everyone else will know how fortunate they are by comparison.

    I recently stumbled across a copy of Dante’s Inferno on sale at Barnes an Noble (they have a number of $7.95 reprinted classics). One of the themes of Dante’s tour through Hell is his learning to overcome his misplaced compassion for the tortured souls he encounters. Apparently those who permanently make it into Paradise have this sense of empathy removed, so that it doesn’t interfere with the enjoyment of eternal bliss. I always wondered how they did that.

  17. I recommend Bertrand Russell’s _Why I Am Not A Christian_ for both believers and non-believers. Many of his arguments are ones you’ve heard before, but some are unique to him. For example, he says that whether the Christian God exists or not, he will have nothing to do with any God who promises eternal damnation for ephemeral sin. (I’m paraphrasing)

    His point is interesting and one I’ve not seen elsewhere. Eternal damnation does indeed mean that the punishment is infinitely worse than the sin.

    A very thoughtful man, sure to force you to think no matter which side of the issue you’re on.


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