Obama to kids: Go to private school

President Barack Obama will use his Sept. 8 speech to urge kids to go to private school so they can “grow up to be like me,” writes Scott Ott (aka Scrappleface) in an Examiner column.

Although Obama attended public school in Indonesia early in life, he soon switched to a private Catholic school, and from fifth grade through graduation went to a private college-prep school in Hawaii. His own daughters now attend a private school in Washington D.C..

“Do you think you’re going to get into Harvard University with your one-size-fits-all public school diploma?” the president will reportedly say. “Come on! Don’t make me laugh. You’ll be lucky to survive through graduation. Seriously, you gotta get out of this mediocrity machine. Go ahead! Get up right now. Run for the door. What are you waiting for?”

. . . “The only thing standing between you and success,” the president will allegedly say, “is the mentality that the government will take care of you. Once you shake that, there’s no limit to your achievement. Pay any price. Bear any burden. Just get your fanny out of that fiberglass chair, go buy yourself an Oxford shirt, a pair of slacks and a clip-on tie, and go to a place that faces constant economic pressure to improve.”

Really? No. It’s called satire.

I spent all of Friday helping my daughter move in to her new San Francisco apartment, which is up three flights of stairs. No elevator.  At one point, my ex-husband, his old friend from high school and I were discussing Obama’s speech and the song “If your mommy is a commie then you’d better turn her in.” My ex-husband tried to remember the name of the Soviet boy who was honored for turning in his father to the secret police.  Pavel something? “Pavel Trofimovich,” said the Comcast guy, in a Russian accent.

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  1. Richard Nieporent says:

    “If your mommy is a commie then you’d better turn her in.”

    The exact words were “If Mommy is a commie then you gotta turn her in.” Were you also a fan of the Chad Mitchell Trio? It is from their song John Birch Society. I still have all their records (and nothing to play them on since they are records!).

  2. For my birthday I bought myself, from one of those gadget catalogs, a USB turntable with software to convert LPs to digital files. In my case it was to reclaim the Seekers and Ian & Sylvia. Works a treat.

  3. Bed Bath and Beyond had one of those turntables, for less than $100 and I had a 20% discount coupon. FABULOUS; I now have all my old records (both 33 and 45 rpm) on the computer and ipod. It was so easy that I could do it all myself, too, and I am pretty incompetent on computers.

  4. The boy’s name was Pavlik (Pavel) Morozov. He turned his father in for hiding the produce. In soviet schools, we studied him and many other “pioneer – heroes” in elementary grades…

  5. I know it’s satire–but it is too close to real life. I cannot believe some of the claims about Obama’s speech and how it is the first step towards a national curriculum–or other bad stuff. It’s getting to be a jungle out there.


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