Eat your health donuts

To improve students’ diets, school cafeterias are serving healthier junk food. AP reports:

. . . fat and calories are being cut by furtively supplementing hamburgers with soy and subbing applesauce for shortening in cake.

. . . The faux-junk food push is the nutritional equivalent of making airplane noises while zooming a spoonful of food into a child’s mouth: a dressy distraction intended to get children to clean their plates.

One breakfast item sold to schools in West Virginia and across the country — deep-fried Super Donuts — are fortified with 5 grams of protein and 14 minerals and vitamins.

Some fear children will develop bad habits if they grow up eating not-so-junky junk food. But surely by the time they reach adulthood Woody Allen’s Sleeper will prove prophetic. If you recall, a health-food store owner wakes up 200 years in the future.

Dr. Melik: [puzzling over list of items sold at Miles’ old health-food store] … wheat germ, organic honey and… tiger’s milk.
Dr. Aragon: Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.
Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or… hot fudge?
Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Those were thought to be unhealthy… precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.
Dr. Melik: Incredible!

Of course, they’ll probably be eating protein-fortified hot fudge.

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  1. ucladavid says:

    At my school, they got rid of the soda machines and put in gatorade machines. However, the gatorade bottles still have 125 of calories in it. Of course, we still have water bottle machines but those don’t get much use.

  2. Eric Jablow says:

    That movie can’t come true. After all, Albert Shanker never got his chance to destroy the world. Even as an 11-year-old boy in Brooklyn, I got that reference.