Children’s imaginations lead to unsafe play, warns the Department of Health and Human Services, according to The Onion, a parody publication.
HHS is issuing guidelines, titled “Boundless Imagination, Boundless Hazards: Ways To Keep Your Kids Safe From A World Of Wonder.”
According to (child-safety expert Kenneth) McMillan, children can suffer broken bones, head trauma, and even fatal injuries from unsupervised exposure to childlike awe. “If your children are allowed to unlock their imaginations, anything from a backyard swing set to a child’s own bedroom can be transformed into a dangerous undersea castle or dragon’s lair,” McMillan said. “But by encouraging your kids to think linearly and literally, and constantly reminding them they can never be anything but human children with no extraordinary characteristics, you can better ensure that they will lead prolonged lives.”
No, this is not for real. It’s from The Onion, which is notorious for its use of imagination.