Football first

Florida State is cutting the academic fat to focus its resources on athletics, reports The Onion.

SARASOTA, FL—Bowing to pressure from alumni, students, and a majority of teaching professors of Florida State University, athletic director Dave Hart Jr. announced yesterday that FSU would completely phase out all academic operations by the end of the 2010 school year in order to make athletics the school’s No. 1 priority.

The academic subsidiary had become a “major distraction,” Hart said.

Via University Diaries.

About Joanne


  1. YOu *do* know the Onion is satire, do you not?

  2. Twill00, from someone who lived in Tallahassee surrounded by rabid Noles for three years, this really is BARELY satire.

  3. Heck, I went part-time to LSU for 4 years and if I saw this story for real it wouldn’t surprise me one bit.

  4. Texas and Missouri are similar. But there wasn’t anything in joanne’s writing that winked about it, and I didn’t want anyone to spoink a blood vessel about a joke.

  5. Catch Thirty Thr33 says:

    The sad thing is that this satire is VERY close to the truth. ESPECIALLY in regards to the high school level.