Covver lettars frum hel

Killian Advertising in Chicago is sharing its cover letters from hell.

“Objective: To work in a challenging environment that allows me to use my imaginatiation…. Education: ______ Collage.” [Editor’s note: Does attending “collage” involve sleepover seminars where you decoupage pictures cut from Teen Scene magazine?]

“Who’s better to spew out incite, than a college senior … ?” [Editor’s lament: We don’t have the “imaginatiation” to make up stuff like this.]

. . . “I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos.”

. . . “I will be able to input your agency with a wide and nouveau perspective in the creative field.”

“I need real world experience and after reviewing your web site I get the impressing that your company believes in maintain a lax work environment while efficiently meeting the needs of it’s customers (right?).” [We replied to this college senior, on an ill-advised rescue impulse, gently suggesting he get some remedial help with his writing, since he had an error in every single sentence of his three-page letter. His furious four-page reply included some amazing stuff, such as]

. . . “If you guys are trying to project a laid back yet hard working image through your site and request the same from prospective employees then you should not be so prudent about minor infractions such as punctuation and grammar…. (I reread it before sending it and it states my point clearly and unless you lack the mental capacity to make out the meaning without having exact and precisise grammar maybe you should seek a new proffsion, I hear this country lacks alot of grammar school teachers perhaps that would be a better fit for you) . . . ” . . . [Editor’s note: although his response fascinated us, you can understand why we no longer reply to the Differently Stable.]

… “I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.”

Via Photon Courier.

About Joanne


  1. Barry Garelick says:

    Even without a typo or error, the objective working “in a challenging environment that allows me to use my imagination” would cause me to review the next resume in the pile.

  2. mike from oregon says:

    The scary part for me is that I run across young people who have both the attitude and pathetic writing skills of this poor young man. Too, like the agency, when someone attempts to help them, they take it as an insult and act as though they’ve been wronged. Many of the up-and-coming generation makes me wonder.

  3. These results are not surprising. Educationists like NCTE have been preaching for a long time that spelling and grammar don’t matter. They interfere with “creativity”. The writers should fit right in with a creative ad agency.

  4. I just placed an ad for a communications specialist and the early responses are making me wince. There are some grammatical errors to be sure, but what really irks me is the self-centeredness evident in some responses. The one I found most appalling was from a woman who didn’t send a resume or respond in any way to the very detailed job description – just requested that I call her to tell her more about the job. She didn’t see any need to demonstrate that she’s worth talking to – just called on her powers of arrogance and/or myopia to assume I’d jump at the chance.

  5. Alex Bensky says:

    I spent a couple of years as a teacher in a fairly affluent part of Los Angeles. A mother actually told me that my insistence on grammar and spelling in my history classes was “stifling my son’s creativity.” “I’m being paid to do that,” I told her.

  6. Let’s not bee too harsh. “I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.” I’ll admit if you will – that could be the motto of half the people here!