Killian Advertising in Chicago is sharing its cover letters from hell.
“Objective: To work in a challenging environment that allows me to use my imaginatiation…. Education: ______ Collage.” [Editor’s note: Does attending “collage” involve sleepover seminars where you decoupage pictures cut from Teen Scene magazine?]
“Who’s better to spew out incite, than a college senior … ?” [Editor’s lament: We don’t have the “imaginatiation” to make up stuff like this.]
. . . “I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos.”
. . . “I will be able to input your agency with a wide and nouveau perspective in the creative field.”
“I need real world experience and after reviewing your web site I get the impressing that your company believes in maintain a lax work environment while efficiently meeting the needs of it’s customers (right?).” [We replied to this college senior, on an ill-advised rescue impulse, gently suggesting he get some remedial help with his writing, since he had an error in every single sentence of his three-page letter. His furious four-page reply included some amazing stuff, such as]
. . . “If you guys are trying to project a laid back yet hard working image through your site and request the same from prospective employees then you should not be so prudent about minor infractions such as punctuation and grammar…. (I reread it before sending it and it states my point clearly and unless you lack the mental capacity to make out the meaning without having exact and precisise grammar maybe you should seek a new proffsion, I hear this country lacks alot of grammar school teachers perhaps that would be a better fit for you) . . . ” . . . [Editor’s note: although his response fascinated us, you can understand why we no longer reply to the Differently Stable.]
… “I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.”
Via Photon Courier.