In “Brand U.,” Stephen Budiansky complains that it’s impossible to satirize colleges’ “craven commercialism” wrapped in “academic blather.” Satire can’t keep ahead of reality.

My final straw came when a friend at Case Western Reserve University (now referred to as Case, after their consultant concluded that all great universities have single-word names) sent me a packet of information on the university’s new showcase undergraduate seminar program. Called SAGES (this supposedly stands for Seminar Approach to General Education and Scholarship), the program offers as an essential component of its core intellectual experience an upscale cafe that serves Peet’s Coffee and is “staffed by baristas whose expertise in preparing espresso is matched only by their authoritative knowledge of all things SAGES.”

The quality of chai latte is not compromised, but academic quality is.

If students fidget, talk or walk out of class, the guide advises seminar leaders not to “manage” such behaviors, but to explore their underlying causes. Instructors must remember that to such characteristically American cultural beliefs as the importance of morality, rationality and personal responsibility, there are equally valid alternatives that must be respected.

. . . And finally, if students do not contribute to discussions at all, seminar leaders should “make space for silence.”

By the cinammon, nutmeg, chocolate, sugar and Splenda, I guess.

Merit pay is coming to education, writes Jay Greene of the Manhattan Institute in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Merit pay can be structured to be fair to teachers with disadvantaged students and to reflect multiple measures of excellence. Programs may reward all teachers or focus on teachers of the most critical subjects. There’s no need to make teachers compete against each other.

At the heart of the debate is whether education is fundamentally different from other professions. Lawyers, doctors, and even university professors, aren’t simply paid based on years of experience and the credential they hold, as teachers are. These professionals all operate under merit pay systems of various types that recognize and reward excellence while punishing sloth. And however imperfectly these merit pay compensation systems truly identify merit, we have good reason to believe that they motivate people to perform better.

It’s funny to hear unions argue that their members aren’t motivated by money.

In the new Carnival of Education at The Ed Wonks, Science Goddess writes about why most teacher-bloggers choose to be anonymous. Rebecca at Upside Down World reflects on the reaction to the teacher-blogger who was outed after criticizing his low-performing school and its out-of-control students.

When I was in college, I worked with teenaged boys in Illinois state prisons – some of whom no doubt came from this school. They had horrible lives and had been dealt a raw deal from the beginning. Almost to a child, they needed healing from abusive and traumatic experiences in their lives. However, in order to move forward they needed not to be coddled and given “encouraging words and positive re-enforcement” – they needed to start doing things which could be encouraged and displaying behaviors worth re-enforcing. We have done a great disservice to many kids, but especially to inner-city kids who already have such a rough road to walk by emphasizing feeling good about yourself just because you suck air with the rest of humanity instead of building competency and the idea that respect is earned through positive behaviors and accomplishments.

Charlemagne’s math tutor and medieval story problems are featured on the Carnival of Homeschooling

From 1915-18, the Ottoman Turks killed more than a million Armenians, the first genocide of the 20th century. In a speech to Wehrmacht commanders, Adolf Hitler urged ruthlessness, saying, “Who still talks nowadays of the extermination of the Armenians?” But the Turkish government disputes the historical record (and the Hitler quote), and now there’s a federal lawsuit charging that Massachusetts’ textbooks that teach the fate of the Armenians aren’t balanced. From the LA Times:

Griswold vs. Driscoll was filed last fall by high school senior Ted Griswold, two of his teachers and a Turkish-American advocacy organization. The plaintiffs contend that Department of Education Commissioner David P. Driscoll and other state officials violated the 1st Amendment by removing material from a human rights curriculum that questioned whether the mass killings nearly a century ago constituted genocide . . .

Six years ago, the Massachusetts Legislature mandated that high schools offer a curriculum on genocide and human rights. Topics included the Holocaust, the Irish potato famine, the trans-Atlantic slave trade and the genocide in Armenia.

At first, the syllabus about the Armenian genocide included opposing views from several Turkish scholars and organizations — many of whom dispute whether genocide took place. As recently as this month, when a public television show on the subject was aired, Turkish Ambassador Nab Ensoy called the events of 1915 “an unresolved period of world history.” In a statement from his embassy in Washington, Ensoy said: “Armenian allegations of genocide have never been historically or legally substantiated.”

Several months after the curriculum was introduced, the Turkish interpretation was removed when a state legislator said the dissent opened the door to denial of a historical tragedy.

Estimates of the Armenian population in Turkey before 1915 range from 1.5 million to 2.5 million people. Estimates of the death toll during the forced deportations ranged at the time from 800,000 (the official Turkish number) to 1.5 million, with most scholars in the 1.2 million to 1.5 million range. What should students be taught: It’s not genocide if you don’t kill ‘em all? All those Armenians just decided to leave Turkey but ran into a “difficult road and weather conditions during the migration?”

President Bush’s statement on the anniversary of the start of the Armenian holocaust uses “tragedy” rather than “genocide.” We don’t want to annoy the Turkish government, which is our ally.

New York’s United Federation of Teachers, once a charter foe, is previewing a documentary about its union-run charter school, UFT Elementary. The New York Sun reports:

“The film chronicles a day in the life of the school and captures the tireless effort needed to close the achievement gap. In this risky venture, labor has become management to prove what works best for kids,” the colorful invitation to the screening reads. The invitation features photos of children in red and blue UFT T-shirts.

On Chalkboard, Joe Wiliams discusses the politics of a union-run charter school.

Just by starting their charter school, the UFT has sent a message to Democrats who represent communities where public charters are the only viable option for children that it’s OK to support them publicly.

The UFT’s school apparently is performing well, Williams says.

Feel-good, self-esteem history is taking over the California curriculum, writes Dan Walters in the Sacramento Bee. The state now requires accentuating the positive about a long list of groups with more clamoring for inclusion.

One by one, California’s many ethnic and cultural communities have sought legislation that requires schoolchildren to be taught about their “role and contributions” in the state’s history, and also bans instruction that depicts them negatively.

To date the list singled out for mandatory attention are “men and women, black Americans, American Indians, Mexicans, Asians, Pacific Island people and other ethnic groups” while another section of state school law bans instruction “which reflects adversely upon persons because of their race, sex, color, creed, handicap, national origin or ancestry” and still another prohibits textbooks or other materials “reflecting adversely” on the same grounds.

A proposed bill would include gays, lesbians and bisexuals in the happy-history group; another bill adds Italian-Americans to the list. Hindu nationalists are suing because the state-adopted textbook isn’t pro-Hindu enough, in their opinion. With so many ethnic groups (and genders) in California, there will be no time left to teach anything but what Walters calls “cultural propaganda.”

Evidence supports the effectiveness of Edison Schools, concludes a report by the Comprehensive School Reform Quality Center, which is funded by the U.S. Education Department and run by American Institutes for Research.

In addition to Edison, researchers analyzed six other Education Service Providers, nonprofits or for-profits that contract to run schools: Imagine Schools; The Leona Group; Mosaica Education; National Heritage Academies; SABIS Educational Systems; and White Hat Management (HOPE Academies). Edison was the only model supported by a “solid body of evidence.” The other models may work, says CSRQ, but there’s insufficient evidence to establish that at this time.

April 30 is the deadline to nominate someone for a Fordham prize for education excellence. There’s a category for scholarship and another for valor.

In Learning on Their Own Terms, the Washington Post profiles a private school on the Sudbury model that lets students do whatever they want.

Students follow no curriculum other than curiosity and whim. Sometimes they seek out a class or workshop, but they are not compelled to take English, geometry or any other subject. Often they just hang. For this, their parents pay $6,680 a year per student, less for siblings.

. . . The school has awarded 16 diplomas over eight years and has seven diploma candidates. To receive one, students must spend at least three years at the school and be 16 or older. They must also write and defend a thesis on how they have taken responsibility for becoming effective adults. An assembly of students, staff and parents votes on awarding diplomas. No one has ever been rejected.

Three graduates have gone on to four-year colleges: Sarah Lawrence College in New York, Ursinus College in Pennsylvania and the Art Institute of Chicago. Some have gone to community college. Other alumni include a professional skateboarder, a waiter and a librarian.

It seems like a lot of money to pay for “deep play” and the hope that boredom will drive your video-game addict to read a book. A homeschooling co-op could provide friends with whom to hang.

Cornell now has an image committee to remind everyone that it’s an Ivy League college.

“Because of when most people go to college, their identity becomes closely associated with the identity of their university,” said Peter Cohl, a committee founder who graduated last spring and is now working on Madison Avenue.

Let the college’s standing drop in publications that rank universities, he said, and “my value as a human being feels like it’s dropping.” (Cornell is now ranked 13th among national universities by U.S. News & World Report.)

The committee has focused on logos and Cornell-branded caps and hoodies. Next up is a move to lower class size to improve Cornell’s national rank.

Via Constrained Vision.