A girl’s best and safest prom date is a gay male friend.
. . . unlike the goofy cousin who might arrive in a ruffled, powder-blue tux and tell embarrassing stories about computer camp, I’m a safe, chic choice. Neither of us will blush with sexual tension when it comes time to attach corsage to bosom. I won’t make a fool of my date or myself with awkward straight-boy dancing. And I’ll help her figure out the details of her dress and hairstyle.
And she doesn’t have to worry about drunken groping.
As Eduwonk notes, this young man writes very well.