Bounce back

Rubber bands are banned at some schools to prevent students from shooting projectiles, known as “wasps” at each other. Buffalo’s school district warned:

If students are in possession of rubber bands for any reason they will be subject to consequences that may include out of school suspension. When rubber bands are required for classroom use, they will be provided and collected.

Another link, provided by Reginlief, makes the case for banning condoms in school: They make dangerous slingshots.

About Joanne


  1. Why not get on with it and just ban *objects*? Objects of any kind whatsoever…make the students change to some kind of gown like a hospital gown when they come in every morning. We’re getting there step by step anyhow..

  2. Mad Scientist says:

    I vote that they should ban *all* elasticized items with one or more pockets.

    Like jockstraps and bras.

  3. I like the above suggestion but think it should be taken a bit further. All school desks should be enclosed by a 360 degree clear plastic curtain suspended from the ceiling. Each “learning capsule” should be equipped with its own air/pollen/dust purifier. Students, faculty, and staff should wear surgical gloves and masks. Teacher/student communication can be conducted via microphones and headsets. All paperwork, whether being collected or handed out, should be disinfected with ultraviolet light. Pencils are sharp, so they would be banned. Writing can be carried out on keyboards plugged into computer screens located in the “instructor’s capsule.” Rubber walkways with handrails will ensure safe passage from room to room.

  4. Cripes, all these half-measures. Why not go to the root of the problem?

    It’s all those damned kids. They need somewhere to sit. They need a place get out of the rain. They complain. They’ve got parents who complain. They need to be taught something. Need, need, need. It just never ends.

    The solution’s obvious: get rid of the kids.

    Imagine how quiet and peaceful the schools would be without all those kids. No lessons to plan. No reports to turn in. No parent-teacher conferences. No fighting. No throwing up. No endless stream of rules to try to keep up with every new outrage, problem, concern, danger and worry. What could be better?

  5. Allen: But the funding formulas don’t allow getting rid of the kids. Although when they start suspending them for rubber band possession, it does look like they are working towards the kid-free school by increments. ;-0

  6. Think of it as class-size reduction taken to it’s logical, or illogical, conclusion.

  7. Walter E. Wallis says:

    Wait until they find out about spit balls.


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