Not enough virgins — or cows

“This is what happens when you cancel Buffy and Angel,” says Jonah Goldberg on The Corner, linking to the story of a school in Uganda plagued by demons.

Primary school in Kiboga district was closed in May after parents reported that their children were being attacked by demons.

. . . The parents accused Isma Sserunkuuma, a man, who lives near the school, of bringing the demons locally known as mayembe. They said Sserunkuma wanted the demons from a witchdoctor to help him acquire wealth.

Sserunkuuma was arrested and is still in detention.

At the time of arrest, Sserunkuuma said he could not afford the demons’ enormous demands. He said the demons demanded for 300 virgin girls and cows to provide them with blood for sustenance.

Sserunkuuma added that when he failed to provide the virgins and cows, he set them (demons) free. They then attacked the pupils. He pleaded that he had no intention of harming the school, but only failed to control the demons.

The demons reportedly affected primary four, five, six and seven pupils below 12 years. When attacked, the pupils gabble and run around the compound. Others undress and foam around their mouths.

They also shake violently as if shocked by an electric current. Parents also said they had to tie their children on pegs with ropes to avoid their disappearance.

No doubt this will be familiar to American teachers.

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  1. Is this some sort of virus?

  2. Walter E. Wallis says:

    Not to be critical of other cultures, of course.

  3. Yet another sad case of unions and politicians protecting incompetent witchdoctors. As usual, it’s the children, especially the virgins, that suffer.

    Fortunately, I have friend who’s a witchdoctor and he said:

    Oo, ee, oo ah ah,
    Ting tang,
    Wala wala bing bang,
    Oo ee, oo ah ah,
    Ting tang,
    Walawala bang bang

    Hope that clears things up.

  4. Eric Jablow says:

    If Joss ever wants to restart the series, Xander is supposed to be in Africa, recruiting Slayers.

  5. It’s that damn Cheney and his minions at Halliburton again…

  6. Undressing and foaming at the mouth is a little different – but what the heck, if it gets school shut down so you can run and play all day… Or the adults stop insisting you spend your spare time weeding the garden because they’re afraid of what demons might do to the crop…

    As for tying the children to pegs with ropes so they don’t disappear – that sounds like my grandson. Except he’d have the knot untied or the peg dug out of the ground in a jiffy.

  7. Our school system would ask our witch doctors to give the kids Ritalin.

  8. Richard Brandshaft says:

    Arrogant and ethnocentric as it may be, I’d be more sure this is to be taken seriously if I knew what ” New Vision” or “AllAfrica Global Media” are. Does anyone no anything about their reputation? (Before someone else says it, no, I don’t believe everything I read in American newspapers either. The absence of perfection does not mean there aren’t degrees of reliability.)