President Bush has announced a new education initiative, No Reporter Left Behind, to help journalists learn reading, listening, logic, science and math skills, announces Rand Simberg. Satirically.
Education Secretary Rod Paige offered federal grants covering up to 10 percent of the annual budget of journalism schools, if they use the government’s curriculum.
“In addition,we are going to set up a mentoring program with local bloggers, so that these aspiring reporters can learn how to do research and fact check.”
“The second prong of our proposal is to provide grants to media organizations as well. Like the grants for the journalism schools, this will be a ten percent solution, through which, in exchange for providing them with a trifling amount of money, we will dictate reporting standards from Washington. Some of this funding will be earmarked to provide adequate dosages of Ritalin in the water systems, to help the journalists stay focused on the actual justifications for the war, and minimize distractions by red herrings.”
. . . In response to a question from the audience as to why a media organization or journalism school would be willing to sacrifice its autonomy for a small amount of its operating budget, he replied, “It’s a mystery, but it seems to work quite well for the public school system, and many of these people are products of that system, so we expect to quickly get most of them on board.”