Don’t judge the kids by their s-s-s-scores. Sickening. Only ice people could be so obsessed with numbers. We Lokoz are sun people — innumerate, illiterate, but at least aware of the value of literacy for our Great Leaders™, the Demokret Daynasti (Democrat Dynasty) that we vote into office decade after decade. How could our beloved tribal chiefs function without the white man’s script? How can we select them without recognizing the sacred symbol ‘D’ and the satanic symbol ‘R’?
. . . I feel really sorry for the pigment-deprived creatures who only think they have ‘achieved’. You think you’re so hot with your 1600 SATs and straight 5s on your AP (Advanced Placement) exams? You are NATING by our infinitely more rigorous, paraliterate Loko standards! Can you haole elites spray graffiti designs in seconds before da polis can catch you and judge you by alien laws!? Can you negotiate an ays (crystal meth) deal in fluent Pijin? Ay no tingk so (I don’t think so)!
If Hawaiian children are content to be isolated from American culture and poor for the rest of their lives, then English literacy doesn’t matter. But ay no tingk so.
Update: Peter at EyelineMatch describes Hawaii’s “fluid, complex, robust and sophisticated” culture, and argues that Hawaiians can learn about things they don’t see.
I grew up at the foot of a tropical mountain range in a yard filled with hibiscus and guava trees; I still managed to conceptualize what life in Norway might have been like. The Commonwealth of Virginia was a quarter-globe away; I still managed to become acquainted with the ideas of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. Most of da time bumbye I wen’ talk all kine funny pidgin stuffs li’ dat, bully; I still managed to read (and enjoy) Shakespeare. Get the point? The notion that a local kid couldn’t possibly conceive of concepts like “nightgown” or a “meadow” is is not merely condescending, it’s downright loony (for one could easily glimpse cows a-pasture alongside Kam Highway out past Laie and could easily purchase quality evening dress at Honolulu’s biggest department store, Liberty House). The notion that a Kalihi teenager is incapable of conceptualizing math problems unless they’re set using “plate lunches” instead of integers is, in my estimation, somewhat evil.
What he said.