No balls

Down under, the new Gnu Hunter reports that schools in Victoria are banning ball games in schoolyards for fear that teachers lack the ladder technique to retrieve balls from roofs.

Kick-to-kick footy and hand ball in the schoolyard are under threat from strict new State Government rules.

Schools have been told to create ball-free zones around buildings to stop balls being stuck on roofs.

And the Education Department is spending thousands of dollars training teachers how to use ladders to retrieve balls.

The revelation comes just days after Acting Premier John Thwaites denied Victoria was a nanny state being run by an interfering government.

Under safety rules, “only trained people with safety equipment such as harnesses are permitted on roofs” if there is a risk of a fall greater than six feet.

Why not let balls stay on the roof? There’s probably a rule against that too.

About Joanne


  1. When I was a kid, we got lots of balls, frisbees, and other flying objects stuck on roofs. They always came down eventually. Is the volleyball budget really that tight?

  2. Janitor’s Union won’t let them do it anymore….

  3. Richard Brandshaft says:

    This kind of thing is not particular to governments. When I worked for a defense contractor, we got a memo on exacto knife safety. The only phrase I remember was “never try to catch a falling exacto knife.”

  4. …Unless you are Police Inspector Kemp from ‘Young Frankenstein.’

  5. A teacher retrieving a ball from the roof? Krikes, in the 60’s the teacher would just send a 5th- or 6th-grader up after it. One advantage to this approach is that the kids were usually able to reach the roof without a ladder.

  6. Yes, but we were told to be careful when we got up on the roof. And we were. Good lessons learnt.

  7. Don’t Australian schools have custodial staffs for this sort of thing?