Growing men

Eli Newberger is posting chapters from his book, The Men They Will Become: The Nature and Nurture of Male Character, online. Here’s the chapter on teasing and bullying.

About Joanne


  1. Mark Odell says:

    From the chapter:
    Children remind me of chickens, seeking out the weak and wounded and pecking them to death.

    Especially when you pen them up like chickens.

    I feel constrained to point out that his entire discussion proceeds on the hidden assumption that forced association (resulting from compulsory-schooling laws) is an unquestionable good; and I submit that when the principle of freedom of (non-)association is restored, the vast majority of this problem withers away.

    but when the boy’s other friends asked him why he was playing with someone who was homeless,

    “Why not?” said the boy, who knew the correct reply.

    But what recourse do the teased and taunted or physically threatened have when they are beset by the strong, except to appeal for assistance?

    Is this a rhetorical question, or does Mr. Newberger really want an answer?

    Every day the Dogs have to make up rules for the day.

    “I told you. We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune.”

    Colin, in an affluent private school, may be perceived by his headmaster as “evil,” but he’s not likely to find himself before a judge unless one of the kids he importunes becomes seriously hurt.

    With any luck, that may not be necessary.

    Somehow, I smell a white-collar criminal in the making.

    When a boy is an excessive teaser or a bully, it is usually a symptom of something wrong in that boy’s life.

    Well, um, here’s a news flash: IDGARA. I want that behavior to cease and desist, NOW. (That achieved, I might actually GARA about “something wrong in that boy’s life”….and then again I might not. Absent that, the question never arises.)

    And worse, he said, if you saw it, you couldn’t do anything about it, because it was so deeply ingrained. You had to start younger than thirteen, he insisted, if you wanted to make a difference with kids.

    All indications are that our elites’ demonstration project has been a brilliant success (from their viewpoint).

    Many observers have noted that the victims of teasing and even of bullying are sometimes complicit in the event. They don’t necessarily want it, but they don’t know how to escape it.

    #1 — Change the word “sometimes” to “never”, and strike the word “necessarily”. (As the feminists never tire of telling us, “submission is not consent”.)

    #2 — Once government schools are correctly identified as, in essence, prisons, the question of “how to escape it” begins to clarify.

    I believe that in teasing and bullying the most healing things happen when one stops judging and punishing and begins to investigate and treat the why of the behavior.

    Fine; jim-dandy-great; wonderful. But the acid test is: Does the teaser/bully get to continue his behavior with what amounts to impunity during all this “investigation” and “treatment”? (The term “coddling” springs irresistibly to mind.) If so, then nothing is accomplished except to make those in the “helping professions” feel all warm and fuzzy.

    Would it be impertinence to suggest that attention and effort be directed towards ensuring that “the most healing things happen” to the victim, or is everyone too busy, inside some reality-distortion field, “sharing out the blame equally” between victim and victimizer, based on some deeply-skewed notion of “moral equivalence”? (No, this isn’t a rhetorical question.)

  2. No way am I reading that. It’s 25 pages of poorly scanned in text, a little too small for my old eyes.