Go to Small Victory for the envision a politically correct holiday season contest.
Like Kimberly, I’m fond of this version of “Walking Through a Winter Wonderland”:
In the meadow we can build a snowperson,
Then pretend that he or she is a member of the clergy from the religion of your choice or, if you prefer, a justice of the peace.
He or she’ll say: Are you married?
We’ll say: No person,
Because marriage is a paternalistic construct
Designed to suppress women
Or, to stick to scholastic themes:
Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say “Throw cares away!” with the aid of ritalin or another doctor prescribed mood stabilizer, but not with any illegal substances, because we have a zero tolerance policy.